A caring, supportive and protective parent who adopts a Healthy Parenting Mind-S.E.T. can lower the risk of stress becoming toxic to a child. Here’s how it works: S stands for Self Talk; E for Empathy; T for Teach. You will find suggestions on using Mind S.E.T. for every behavior prescription in Behavior Checker. Become aware of the language in your head, those words you use when you talk to yourself, your Self-Talk. The following is an example of how Self-Talk can support your emotional health when dealing with issues concerning breastfeeding.
SELF-TALK CAN HELP YOU FEEL VALIDATED:
Negative self-talk: “I can’t do this. I’ll never be able to do this. I’ll never be a good mother because I can’t breastfeed. My baby will hate me forever because we won’t have a bond.” Positive self-talk: “Even if breastfeeding doesn’t work out or takes a while to happen, I am still a good mom. I can figure out the best way for my baby and me to bond.”
SELF-TALK CAN HELP YOU FEEL CONFIDENT:
Negative Self-talk: “If I can’t do something as simple as breastfeeding, I can’t do anything. I am such a failure and so stupid. I can’t be a good mom, if I can’t even breastfeed like I should. What is wrong with me?” Positive Self-talk: “I’m confident that we can have a good life even if I am having trouble breastfeeding or cannot breastfeed. This is a new experience for my baby and me. We will learn together. If I need help, that’s okay. Either way, I will be okay and so will my baby. It’s no one’s fault— it’s the way it is.”
SELF-TALK CAN HELP YOU BUILD TRUST:
Negative Self-talk: “I should be able to do this, so I’m too embarrassed to ask for help. Besides, w hy would anyone want to help me?” Positive Self-Talk: “I am lucky to have great support here in my pediatric medical home to help me learn how to help my baby breastfeed. We will do this together because I trust my medical support to take good care of us.”
© 2016 Raised with Love and Limits Foundation.